How can I help?

“Oh Natalie, I am so depressed.”

Difficult words to hear from my client.  As a home health aide I have worked with many wonderful people over the past 9 months but like most aides, I have my favorites. I currently work for the most delightfully cranky and obstinate woman I have ever met.  I adore her! She is also very loving and kind but comes off very brusque at first. We hit it off almost instantly. We have so much in common…no really, we do!  We laugh, we cry, she tells me stories about growing up during WWII and I tell her about my little Frenchie, Fleur.  She gives me relationship advice and I remind her to use her walker properly.  We take trips to Wal-Mart (which she calls “the junk store”), go for afternoon visits to see her friends, head to the gym for 12 min workouts (a new record for her), and sometimes just sit and chat while sitting in the sun and enjoying the stillness of the morning.  She loves how I make her coffee and is constantly offering me things to eat.  She is my favorite.  But her health is not good.  She has two degenerative diseases and age is not on her side. She asked me the other day if I thought she would ever get better.  I had to gently but honestly reply that she would not.  Her life will not get any easier, it will only become more difficult.  So it comes as no surprise that she is depressed.

I want to help people. This is one of the primary reasons I am working in healthcare in the first place. But I often find myself in situations, like this one, where I have no clue how to help or even what to say.  Feeling helpless, I sat down with this woman and listened to her tell the story of her current battle with depression. I started to realize why we get along so well.  She likes to tell stories and I like to listen.  She needs someone to listen to her, really listen to her, but she doesn't feel comfortable just telling anyone about her personal struggles. We have developed a very close relationship over the past 9 months and she told me that I am the only aide she feel close to and can share these personal stories and struggles. I tried as best I could to say some words of comfort and encouragement. As the conversation came to a close I could see that a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders and the rest of the day passed in a very pleasant and productive sort of way.  As my shift ended that day, she thanked me, as she always does, for everything that I did for her that day. And I smiled and said, "My pleasure," as is my custom. "I'll see you soon."

"I hope so," she replied with a smile on her face. Being able to help my client by being a sympathetic listener seems like such a small thing, but to her it changed the entire outlook for the day. Not to mention, it made me feel great too!

How can I help?  This is a question I ask a lot in life. Sometimes directly to a patient or client, but recently I have been asking this question as a response to the atrocities of our time.  School shootings in America, bombings in the Middle East, the Syrian refugee crisis, and now the terrorist attacks in Paris.  How can I help? I can't stop listening to the news.  I need to hear the stories and I am searching for hope. Hope is what keeps me going and helps me stave off depression. Hope is what drives me to keep trying to help people. But listening to all the stories of horror in our world, I feel pretty helpless and start to lose my hope. The #prayforparis instantly blew up all over the internet after the attacks in Paris and it made me realize that I am not alone in turning to prayer to find hope in a hopeless world. At church on Sunday I was blessed to pray with a congregation of Christians for our world.  We say The Prayers of the People Form VI from The Book of Common Prayer. I have copied a portion of it here.  I may never know how to help when faced with seemingly hopeless situations but I can still pray for peace and I can still keep helping people in whatever way I can.

In peace, we pray to you, Lord God.

For all people in their daily life and work;

For our families, friends, and neighbors, and for those who 

are alone.

For this community, the nation, and the world;

For all who work for justice, freedom, and peace.

For the just and proper use of your creation;

For the victims of hunger, fear, injustice, and oppression.

For all who are in danger, sorrow, or any kind of trouble;

For those who minister to the sick, the friendless, and the 

needy.

For the peace and unity of the Church of God;

For all who proclaim the Gospel, and all who seek the Truth.