The Dentist
My best friend Marya HATES going to the dentist. She stresses out about it for days on end and nearly has a panic attack before each visit. Today I went to the dentist for the first time in about 5 years. I was terrified. I prepared myself for the worst. I was convinced that I would have no fewer than 5 cavities, need two root canals and be diagnosed with an advanced case of gingivitis. I think I finally understood Marya's fear. I had no idea what I was walking into. I've never had a cavity, I've never had braces. When I was 17, I had my wisdom teeth removed with no incident whatsoever. It isn't as though my dental history is a series of horrid events, but I still thought that this visit was surely to bring with it the words of doom. It didn't. After a very painful, intense, and rather bloody cleaning they told me that I have great teeth, I need to floss and come back in 6 months for my next cleaning. I felt so lucky! No, not lucky, blessed. First of all, I have dental insurance so my visit didn't cost me a dime. Second of all, I have parents who spent endless dollars on my dental hygiene over the years. Third, I find a dentist office where all the staff is super nice and friendly and the dentist himself plays jazz at the Gulu Gulu Cafe where I work!
Today I also saw my therapist and we talked about the many blessings in my life. There is an old Hymn called "Count Your Blessings" and I often think about it when I am feeling negative or depressed or upset about something. I suppose counting blessings about a dentist visit may seem like I am going off my rocker but I maintain - if it is the little things in life that can bring me down, then it is the little things in life that can bring me back on up. Last night I was feeling so dejected and listless. My life felt pointless. A down day at work for no real "big reason." But today I felt like a responsible adult; going to appointments, taking care of myself, researching grad school programs in England, catching up with my sisters, making plans to see friends. Today I choose to be defined by what brings me joy and not what brings me fear. I suppose while I understand Marya's fear of dentistry, I can't say that I share that fear. Counting blessings in the dentist office...okay I am crazy. But maybe it is the first step to managing my little fears and finding my little joys.
Today I also saw my therapist and we talked about the many blessings in my life. There is an old Hymn called "Count Your Blessings" and I often think about it when I am feeling negative or depressed or upset about something. I suppose counting blessings about a dentist visit may seem like I am going off my rocker but I maintain - if it is the little things in life that can bring me down, then it is the little things in life that can bring me back on up. Last night I was feeling so dejected and listless. My life felt pointless. A down day at work for no real "big reason." But today I felt like a responsible adult; going to appointments, taking care of myself, researching grad school programs in England, catching up with my sisters, making plans to see friends. Today I choose to be defined by what brings me joy and not what brings me fear. I suppose while I understand Marya's fear of dentistry, I can't say that I share that fear. Counting blessings in the dentist office...okay I am crazy. But maybe it is the first step to managing my little fears and finding my little joys.
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